Why America Shouldn't Wear Hats
by Bookworm213
Summary: July 1. A normal day, until America decides to wear a hat to the world meeting. America really shouldn't wear hats. A Canada Day fic, with love, from an American. Also the first in the 1st series. Rated for mentions of alcohol. Human and Nation names used.


**HAPPY CANADA DAY to all you Canadians out there! This is for you from one of your southern neighbors. Even though we seem to forget about you a lot, we love you ya stupid hat! JK, you're not stupid… or our hat. Bur we still love you (like a sibling, but if you like us like that, I can't stop you so…) so hurry up and just become our 51****st**** state already! Or, you know, don't, we aren't Russia. (Become one with Russia, da?)**

**NOTE: Originally, I thought that this would be a stand-alone one-shot when an idea occurred to me. What if the nations had a monthly world meeting, and what if that meeting was held on the first day of each month? Can't you just imagine the chaos? And that is how the 1st series was born. I plan on publishing something for a meeting for all of the months. Some of them will be relevant to the day (i.e. April fool's Day, Canada Day, New Year's Day, or other holidays or events on the first) and some will just be a particularly chaotic meeting.**

**This is the first in the 1st series. That doesn't mean that this happened first chronologically, just that it was the first one I typed. The 1st series can be read in any order, the only chronological order at the moment is the last one that I publish is the last one chronologically. I will try to post a timeline when I finish them all, but I make no promises. Really though you can read them in any order.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or anything else you recognize. If I did CanUkr would be cannon by now and well, you don't really want to know what else.**

* * *

It started out as an innocent July day. It was a Monday, and the nations of the world were gathering for one of their monthly meetings. Why these meetings were held every month was a mystery considering that nothing ever happened at them. At any rate, this particular meeting was being held in Buffalo, New York near the U.S./Canadian Border. The Friendship Festival was causing a few problems for the nations (Mostly the more hyperactive countries wanting to go and celebrate.), but nothing too serious. However, the festivities brought a question to the forefront of the minds of many nations, who/what and where was the personification of Canada? And that, dear reader, is where our story really begins.

~HETALIA~

It started out innocently enough, the day before the meeting began, while all of the traveling countries were trying to sleep off their jetlag, America and his brother, Canada, were celebrating the years of peace and friendship between the two of them. As the two were walking around, something caught America's eye. One was an Uncle Sam hat, the other was what can only be described as the Canadian equivalent. The hat had red and white vertical stripes running from the top to a wide, white band around the base, on the band were thirteen little, red maple leafs. The hat's wide brim was red. When he saw them, America knew he had to have them. The hats could be won at one of those carnival games where you hit a pressure plate with a mallet and have to ring a bell at the top. When he saw the look on his brother's face, Canada sighed and resigned himself to whatever stupid thing his brother was about to do. To his surprise, it didn't turn out that badly, at first. America played the game exactly two times; this was one game that he never failed to win. He walked away from the booth with a satisfied smile on his face, an Uncle Sam hat in his hand, and a Canadian Uncle Sam Hat on his head. Oh, and a protesting brother, can't forget that.

"No, I'm not wearing that hat Al. You can't make me."

"Pretty, pretty please, please, please, please, pleeeeeaaaassssseeeeee wear it Mattie. I won it just for you."

"No Alfred, I'm not wearing the hat. Hey, don't give me that look, I don't care how well that pout works on Arthur, I'm not falling for it an—are you crying?"

There were indeed tears forming in Alfred's sky blue eyes. His bottom lip was stuck out in an adorable puppy dog pout. " *sniff, sniff* I'm s-sorry Matt, but I just wanted my brother to wear a hat I won him, but if you don't want to than I guess, I'll just take this one home. I'm sorry for upsetting you, I just thought we could wear each other's hats like bros, you know. I guess I was just being stupid… again."

Matthew bit his lip; he couldn't help the feeling that Alfred was messing with him but… those tears were very convincing, and knowing Alfred he _would _be upset over something like this…

"Okay, okay fine, I'll wear the stupid hat! Just please stop crying!"

To this day Matthew still marvels at how fast his brother managed to dry his eyes and is grudgingly impressed by his acting skills; he also curses himself for falling for Alfred's trick (Remember Hollywood? Silly Canada). Alfred was ecstatic at his brother's willingness to wear the hat. He jammed the Uncle Sam hat on Matthew's head and pulled him into a bone crushing hug. Thank you Mattie! You're the best brother ever!

"Can't... Breath..."

"Come on," The excitable blond let go of his brother and began dragging him toward the nearest beer garden, "let's go do some brotherly bonding."

"At a beer garden?" Matthew inquired doubtfully.

"Yep!"

~HETALIA~

The next day the countries of the world were gathering, but the host, America, had yet to show up so most of the nations were just killing time. The most popular topic of conversation was, for once, Canada. Most of the Eastern European and Asian countries were trying to remember if they had ever met the nation of Canada. No one could ever recall him/her so the real thing they were discussing was whether Canada was just very reclusive or if it was one of the rare countries that didn't have a human personification. That is to say, either Canada was represented by an animal or idol of some kind, or didn't have a personification at all. The remaining Europeans had a faint recollection of a man, however the man looked so much like America that they brushed it off as confusing one North American for another. Cuba and a few of the other American nations, knew for a fact that Canada existed; they were just trying to remember what he/she looked like. For some reason, no one from the groups bothered to talk to each other each other and try to figure out the mystery that was Canada. But, all things considered, it was a relatively peaceful Monday morning. Then America (finally) arrived.

~HETALIA~

America knew he was late, but with the bright sun shining in his eyes and the annoyingly cheerful birds chirping and aggravating his pounding headache, he found very little reason to care. At least until he remembered he was hosting a meeting. Shielding himself from the excess of light in his house and muttering about getting thicker drapes, he stumbled around looking for a bottle of Tylenol and a glass of water. Alfred took enough Tylenol to down a small elephant; then being the kind brother he was, he walked around trying to figure out what had happened to Matthew. The night before, the two thoroughly intoxicated nations had stumbled back to America's house and promptly passed out. Now, holding a tray with a bottle of Tylenol and a glass of water, Alfred was on a quest to locate his missing brother. He found him at the foot of the stairs when he almost tripped over him. Just managing to keep the water from spilling all over, he nudged Matthew with his foot. When that didn't work he dumped the water on him. Of course, the second Matthew woke up; instead of thanking his brother for going to a lot of trouble to make sure that the two of them made it to the meeting, he made a mad dash to the bathroom and proceeded to spend the next few minutes throwing up. Getting to the meeting on time was a lost cause by then, and both nations were tempted to skip. They would have to, if America weren't the host of this particular meeting. Somehow, Canada convinced America to leave without him. So America, donning his customary non-war-time meeting attire of a brown suit, prepared to leave his house. On the way out something special caught his eye. Grinning to himself, he grabbed it, got in his car and drove to the meeting, tempted to bang his head against the wheel and wondering why he didn't just walk because of all the traffic all the while. When he finally arrived in the parking lot, he grabbed what he needed for the meeting (his briefcase, laptop, and a large McDonald's bag filled with hamburgers) and the object he grabbed as he left his house. Then, he walked inside with his head held high and red and white top hat on said head.

~HETALIA~

"Oh! Mr. America! You're here!"

"Hey, Lithuania! Hey, Poland! Shouldn't you guys be in the meeting?"

"They decided to postpone the meeting until you arrived."

"Oh, that's cool. I'll go find the others and let them know I'm here. Do you know where they are?"

"Everyone is just wandering around, but Mr. Germany and Mr. Britain* are probably in the meeting room waiting for you."

"Cool. Thanks bro. See ya later!" With that the American walked off in the direction of the meeting room.

"Hey, Liet."

"Yes, Poland?"

"Like, what was that on his head?"

"…I don't know. Maybe it was Canada? It is Canada Day, and I think red and white are the colors on the Canadian Flag."

"Well, whatever it was, it was, like, totally a fashion nightmare."

~HETALIA~

"Hey, America! Nice Hat! Da-Ze!"

"Hamburger bastard! Where's Canada—never mind."

"Happy Canada Day Amérique. Perhaps I can help you _celebrate _later, Ohonhonhon. "

"Shut up Frog! Happy Canada Day, lad."

As America made his way to the meeting room, calls involving his hat and/or Canada followed him. It was kind of weird, people didn't normally talk about Mattie; but he just brushed it off because it was Canada Day and all. Plus, he did have a pretty awesome hat. As he was approaching the meeting room doors, lost in his thoughts, he ran into Japan.

"Hey man!"

"Oh. Hello America-san. How is Canada doing today*?"

"Not sure. Not like he can just tell me, ya know? I mean, not like he's here right now. But I'll ask for you when he gets here. Kay?"

"What? But, I thou—"

"See ya later man. I gotta go tell Iggy and Germany that I'm here." And with that the young nation disappeared through the large double doors, leaving Japan to quietly wonder to himself, "What did America-san mean? I thought the hat _was_ Canada."

~HETALIA~

An hour-and-a-half later, after being thoroughly chastised for being late by Germany and a lecture from England on the importance of being on time, America was ready to do his job as host nation and begin the meeting. As always, they started with roll call. Everything was fine…until it wasn't.

"Belarus."

"My sisters will be late today, Америка.*"

"Thank you Com—I mean, Russia. Canada. No wait, he'll be late too." Quiet mutterings broke out among the assembled nations.

"What do you mean? Canada is already here, da?" Russia said, interrupting America as he was calling out the next name.

"Noooooooooo,"America said slowly, as though he was talking to a child, "What gave you that idea?"

"Your hat."

"My hat?"

"Da"

"How does my hat make you think Canada is already here?" As Russia opened his mouth to respond, the doors opened with a bang. A silence fell over the nations as they all looked toward the door.

"…Now, Canada's here." America broke the silence with that one comment. The nations of the world were very confused as they stared at the man standing in the doorway. He looked just like America, except his hair was a bit longer and curlier. He also had one errant strand of hair the curled out in front of his face and was wearing a large pair of very dark sunglasses.

"Hold on, _you_ are Canada, aru!?" China pointed at the sunglasses wearing man. The man, Canada, just nodded slowly and proceeded to walk over to one of the large windows and begin closing the drapes. Aside from America, who knew about his brothers hangover, everyone in the room was confused as to why he wanted to have darkness. China then turned to America,

"But, I though your _hat_ was Canada, aru?"

"What!? Why would you think that? That is completely ridiculous!" A growl emerged from the other side of the now dark room. Canada stormed over to America,

"I _told_ you that _stupid _joke was…well, um… _stupid_!" He screamed in his brothers' face, which for him sounded like a normal volume.

"Now hold on just a moment." England interjected, "What does he mean 'joke.'" Canada turned his death glare of doom on him and, in a very annoyed voice, explained,

"_This _idiot once called me his hat. It caught on, someone made a t-shirt, and now all of _you _idiots think _I'm _his _hat._"America laughed nervously,

"Dude, I didn't think it would go this far. It was just a joke, really!" Canada just scowled at his brother before storming over to his seat.

"Just start the stupid meeting already or this will be the last friendship festival in a long time." America swallowed and did as he was told. The rest of the nations scrambling to follow orders as well. With Canada's glare keeping them all in check they actually got something done for once.

~HETALIA~

Canada was staying with America during the festival. So at the end of the day, America offered the other a ride back his house. Canada didn't really accept so much as glare at him (as he had been doing all day) then walk over to stand next to the car. Naturally, the atmosphere in the car wasn't all the comfortable. To the point that even dear, clueless Alfred felt awkward. While sitting in traffic caused by the festival he decided to bite the bullet.

"Hey, Mattie. I'm sorry about that joke. I really didn't think they would think you were my hat."

"…"

"Mattie… are you mad at me?" Alfred asked in a small voice that didn't really suit him.

"…"

"Mattie?" He asked again. Nothing. "Okay then. I'll just be quiet now."

"…I'm not really mad at you specifically. Just upset that they could actually forget about me to the point they thought I was a hat. I'll bet none of them even know what today is."

"But they do. You should have been there. I was walking through the halls and everyone was talking about you and wishing me a happy Canada Day."

"Really? Everyone?"

"Yeah! Even England!"

Canada grinned softly to himself.

"They really remembered." He whispered quietly. America smiled from the driver's seat.

"So, bros?" He asked, holding his hand out for a fist bump. Canada smiled and reached his fist out as well.

"Bros."

* * *

**I'm sorry. The ending is such a fail.**

***Himaruya has stated that Arthur is one of three brothers (****Scotland****, ****Wales****, and ****Northern Ireland****). He is known to the countries as United Kingdom. His brothers call him England. I am assuming that people he knows well *cough* France *cough* or his other siblings/colonies such as America and Canada would refer to him as England as well. I had Lithuania call him Mr. Britain because I think Mr. UK or Mr. United Kingdom sounds weird, though I know that Britain and UK aren't necessarily synonymous. Also, in the English translation he is called Britain soooooo, yeah, that's my reasoning. Wow, this is a lot of words.**

***Head cannon time: When a nation doesn't have a human personification, the personification of the country with the nearest geographical location and strong ties (i.e. Canada and America being each other's chief economic partner and sharing one of, if not, the longest international border in the world) takes over the job (as in paperwork and representation at meetings and such ****as well connection the people of the nation** ). It's kind of like they colonized the country, except they didn't actually colonize them and they don't get an adorable little sibling. So, hypothetically, if Matt really was a hat, Al would do all the work that he does. (Another head cannon: Nations do paperwork and help run their countries. Not just go to world meetings. But that's more of a fanon sooooo, yeah.) **SO what Japan was asking was how the Canada itself was doing. Were the people having a good time, was the nation financially stable and stuff like that.**

***I think it's fairly obvious, but in case you're like me and don't get the obvious stuff. The word is America (or supposed to be, I don't trust Google translate very much, even for one word.)**

**I would like to say that I have never been to Buffalo or Fort Erie or the Friendship Festival held there. Matter of fact, I don't know a thing about it other than what is on Wikipedia. I just assumed that there would be a lot of traffic. **


End file.
